I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
