We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
