kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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