I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
