I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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