Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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