i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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