Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
