she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
