Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
