That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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