Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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