I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
