sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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