Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize