Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
