is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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