some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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