Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
