At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
