the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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