You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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