Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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