College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
