I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
