If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
