So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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