Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
