Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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