Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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