Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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