Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
my nose is crying tears of wow.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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