Will you blow on my dice?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
