yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
