sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
