after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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