he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
