I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
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