I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
