you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
do herpes really smell.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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