sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
