This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
