She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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