I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
