At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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