I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
