your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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