...so i touched it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
