Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
