Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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