do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
