She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
