Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
